"If you spoke as she does, sir, instead of the way you do, why you might be selling flowers, too."

It was pure luck that I got to go to two Giants/Dodgers games two nights in a row. First night better seats. Second night more action. Last night we sat in the "Barry Sucks" section of the stadium--far left field. They just wouldn't shut up about it. This

woman

, and I use the term loosely sat right near us and just WOULDN'T SHUT UP. She even started spouting some choice homophobic phrases from which I will refrain using. It's a miracle she didn't start witht he racist remarks, though she was surrounded by a multitude of latinos, so maybe she was smart enought to do that. Seriously, WTF? She also had signs, which were quickly confiscated that read "Barry Bonds Stole my Steroids". This woman put the "ass" in "class", let me tell ya. And I can write with absolute certainty that these people would be his new best friend if he were traded to the Dodgers. To be sure, the die-hard Dodger fan who caught Barry's 3-run-homer ball in the bleachers kept the ball.

I was feeling warm and fuzzy with the alcohol buzz when I thought "It's no wonder that a country like this could turn on a dime and decide that some country they've barely heard of is their enemy."

I'm done with real people today.

Life of Pam

I feel like my head's gonna explode today. Seriously. Actually yesterday was worse. I felt kinda like Large Marge when she show's Pee Wee what she looked like when she was dead. And you know what? Nobody cares. I learned that a long time ago. So I'm just gonna put on my standard shit-eating grin and go about my day. It seems as though the minute they decided they would give me the 6% raise they thought, "Now she's gonna have to earn her money."

Went to the dentist yesterday and found out that I have to have two of my root canals redone and one will be pulled, and replaced by a titanium implant-- well that's what it costs, they might as well. I decided it's the curse of the firstborn child to Scientology parents-- they get teeth like L. Ron Hubbard. At least mine aren't pointy, though.