Fuck You and Your 5K

What is it about this time of year and the 10Ks/Marathons/bike-a-thons/triathlons for charity. Why have I gotten like 7 requests for sponsorship in the last month? Is it the rush to get more tax write-offs before the end of the year? Is it the cooler weather? I dunno, but I've decided that I don't have nearly enough money to make all these people happy, and that sucks. Not the part about making people happy...the part about not having enough money. I should add this little tidbit to my manual. I'm making it official here: If you're not willing to put in enough effort for at least 26.2 miles, I can't help you...at least not right now. Ask again in February. I'll think about it. I still have the holidays to worry about, too. The goddamn holidays.