So, end of Week 2 in Boot Camp. I still look ridiculous, I'm sure, and I'm still the slowest one in class, but I've realized, I don't care anymore. Maybe it's just circumstantial, and in any other scenario, like work, or family, I would feel self-conscious, and introspect and feel competitive, but for some reason I don't. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I care less what other people think about my weaknesses. It's amazing. Is that what happens as we get older? Is this what wisdom is? Caring less and less what other people think of us, embracing our own strengths and weaknesses, and, on the side, like french fries - or maybe something less generally appealing - fruit cocktail - offering our unsolicited opinion - whether racist or sexist or whatever it may be or seem?
I feel GREAT, too. Acknowledge I'm saying this 90 minutes after my class has ended. Who knows how I'll be tomorrow morning? But I would do it every single day, if I knew this feeling would last, and if I knew I could afford it. Please, someone, remind me, when I start to brood, what a difference exercise makes in my general outlook, and then punch me in the arm (today I like my face). Only 8 hours ago I was feeling terrible, because I was so ungrateful for my life, and so afraid to move forward. I am renewed. At least for the next few hours. Hahahaha.
Here's a place I've recently found solace. It's a Bob Dylan song, covered by Joan Baez.
Peace. Love. Courage.
V.
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