Discretion

A family secret was recently revealed to me, by accident. It was assumed that I already knew, because the person near me who was originally told is assumed to be really unpracticed at discretion. I am heartbroken about that. I firmly believe that anyone who considers him or herself a good friend should be an expert at discretion, and that anyone who is asked to keep a secret should do so, to the best of his/her ability, out of respect for the other person and their relationship. I've been blessed to learn the importance of discretion, by the best school in the universe - the School of Eating Shit.

It can be incredibly difficult when the people near or around you have no discretion. I learned some years ago that Sparkle is incapable of keeping a secret. Much like myself, she has no poker face. However, as most others, she has been known to also use the information not as blackmail material, or for necessarily dark purposes, but as leverage for other relationships - whether to salvage them, or to create a stronger bond with another. While I admit I have done this in the past, I no longer honor such motivation.

While others may not consider this such an important skill in the realm of friendship, I consider that it is among the utmost. I wish people wore their ingredients on their shirts, and this way we, none of us, would fall victim to the indiscreet, shallow, malevolent a-hole. Within the last year I bared my soul to someone I hoped would become a really good friend, but, alas, it was not to be. This person was, either not interested in the least, in being a good friend, or completely incapable of being discreet. So now, the joy and embarrassment and shame and fragility that I kept wrapped up so tightly for so long is fodder for jokes amongst this person and his/her friends.

I have learned not to think about it, or the heartbreak that came with it.